Shattered worldview

[sobrique]

As you meet new people, you gradually come to realise, that there's some you just don't get along with. In some cases, the reason for this is obvious. In others, it can be less so.

I still don't entirely understand how this happens. I fully accept that not everyone sees the world quite the same way, and I'm more than happy to agree to disagree on a subject. But is it possible that the way someone sees things is just fundamentally incompatible?

Getting to know and understand people, starts with a common ground, and grows from mutual and disparate interests. But sometimes, it seems that the common ground to build on is very shakey indeed.

How much tolerance is a person automatically entitled to? The sensible people will simply avoid those that wind them up, simply because getting in fights daily is just no fun at all. But sometimes the situation is forced, either through work, or some other obligation. At which point you have to decide whether this interaction is worth the effort, or not.

It can be an unpleasant choice to make. And much easier rationalised by "they're just an arsehole". I've caught myself doing it.

I don't know. I find common ground with a lot of people, but I still find it hard dealing with some. Does mental illness/trauma come in to it, or is there some angle I'm missing, with the people who seem very effective at annoying multiple others?

Comments

[elrohana.livejournal.com]

I have always been able to get along with most people, and am generally a peacemaker and mediator. My mum says I'm a chameleon, I can blend in anywhere. But even so there are people I meet I just cannot bring myself to like, they creep me out and for no good reason I can spot. One guy I worked with actually made my skin crawl - literally - whenever he came in the room, yet from all I could learn about him, he was a top bloke. I put it down to pheromones and managed to be polite to him, if not actively friendly. And sometimes there are people who start off ok, as friends even, and then just take the piss, and you give them a couple of chances to make good, and when they don't, you move on. I have forgiven friends for some pretty heinous crimes, because I genuinely believed they were sorry. But there are others who said the same words but I couldn't feel their heart in it, and those people I will never forgive, even if I one day manage to at least be polite to them in public.