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sobriqueWell, I think by many standards, my life is a good one. I'm comfortable, content and progressing professionally. I'm doing things I enjoy, and growing wiser as I get older.
I'd like to share with you something that I've come to understand. I don't believe in 'luck'. I don't believe one person is implicitly 'luckier' than another. I don't believe in fair, either. Life isn't, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
But there is random. There are events - risks and opportunities - that will present themselves. Much like in a hand of poker - some days you're on an seven high, and other's you've been dealt a royal flush (actually, I've never been dealt a royal flush, but whatever :p). But over time, a good poker player will come out ahead - he'll have played his good hands well, and his bad hands to minimize losses. He's recognising what's there, and capitalising on the upswings and the downturns.
Every day, things happen. Some will be good, some will be bad. That's just the way it is. Some start from a better position, or worse position. Everyone in this country starts in a better position than a large proportion of the world.
But life isn't a state, as much as a process. If you're not changing, you're not living. If you cannot say that today I am a different - and hopefully better - person to yesterday, then you're wasting oxygen.
All these opportunities roll forwards. We have little scope for controlling what happens, but we do have the choice of how we deal with them. The real danger is in avoiding them. By keeping our heads down, and not wanting to 'rock the boat'. Fear of failure keeps people stuck where they are, going nowhere. But y'know, it's ok to fail. Everyone does, and everyone learns by doing so. It's very much the case that a failure teaches us more than a success does, if we let it. You learn more about the world, who you are, and how you relate to others. This is invaluable information, and is what you need to turn future opportunities out in a more positive fashion. It's called wisdom, and it's born of experience.
Don't turn away the experiences, because you're afraid to fail. Don't let opportunity pass you by unmarked. A risk is to be evaluated, considered, and appropriate action taken. Never to be ignored and avoided.
You get some opportunites, so does everyone else. They pass us by daily, and all too many go throughout life without even recognising them. They're not fair - you don't get the same hand as anyone else, so it can never be 'fair'. You might learn more from one thing, than another person can, simply because of the kind of person you are. You're not lucky, nor unlucky. You're just playing the hand you got dealt, in as good a fashion as you can. You'll get good ones, and bad ones. Some you can influence, some you can't.
But I'll tell you this - if you fold every hand in poker, because you're afraid to lose, then you'll go home the poor man, and will have learned nothing of how to play.
I'd like to share with you something that I've come to understand. I don't believe in 'luck'. I don't believe one person is implicitly 'luckier' than another. I don't believe in fair, either. Life isn't, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
But there is random. There are events - risks and opportunities - that will present themselves. Much like in a hand of poker - some days you're on an seven high, and other's you've been dealt a royal flush (actually, I've never been dealt a royal flush, but whatever :p). But over time, a good poker player will come out ahead - he'll have played his good hands well, and his bad hands to minimize losses. He's recognising what's there, and capitalising on the upswings and the downturns.
Every day, things happen. Some will be good, some will be bad. That's just the way it is. Some start from a better position, or worse position. Everyone in this country starts in a better position than a large proportion of the world.
But life isn't a state, as much as a process. If you're not changing, you're not living. If you cannot say that today I am a different - and hopefully better - person to yesterday, then you're wasting oxygen.
All these opportunities roll forwards. We have little scope for controlling what happens, but we do have the choice of how we deal with them. The real danger is in avoiding them. By keeping our heads down, and not wanting to 'rock the boat'. Fear of failure keeps people stuck where they are, going nowhere. But y'know, it's ok to fail. Everyone does, and everyone learns by doing so. It's very much the case that a failure teaches us more than a success does, if we let it. You learn more about the world, who you are, and how you relate to others. This is invaluable information, and is what you need to turn future opportunities out in a more positive fashion. It's called wisdom, and it's born of experience.
Don't turn away the experiences, because you're afraid to fail. Don't let opportunity pass you by unmarked. A risk is to be evaluated, considered, and appropriate action taken. Never to be ignored and avoided.
You get some opportunites, so does everyone else. They pass us by daily, and all too many go throughout life without even recognising them. They're not fair - you don't get the same hand as anyone else, so it can never be 'fair'. You might learn more from one thing, than another person can, simply because of the kind of person you are. You're not lucky, nor unlucky. You're just playing the hand you got dealt, in as good a fashion as you can. You'll get good ones, and bad ones. Some you can influence, some you can't.
But I'll tell you this - if you fold every hand in poker, because you're afraid to lose, then you'll go home the poor man, and will have learned nothing of how to play.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 12:15 pm (UTC)*Snuggles
Date: 2008-10-10 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 05:32 pm (UTC)I know enough probabilities and I've seen enough studies about behaviour to realise that it is largely about how you deal with opportunities - and how often you seek them out.
Indeed, I will rarely complain about being unlucky.
However this does not make taking chances any easier - I suspect by your definitions I am a waste of oxygen - I am rather prone to kicking myself for opportunities not taken.
I am sure risk-aversion can be unlearned... But I am typing this on my PDA while drinking a beer, sat in a pub, ignoring everyone around me, waiting for a train so I don't have to stand on a platform for half an hour to avoid the chance of striking up a conversation (I am casting this in a slightly over-negative light - it was also a coice between beer and no-beer).
I think my point is that thinking this and living by it are very different things.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 06:05 pm (UTC)I'm getting better, but I'm still a complete coward when it comes to phoning someone. I don't like initiating that contact.
But I'm starting to think more about why I'm being avoidant. You don't put your hand in a fire, because the probable outcomes are against you. But the same does not apply to walking up to someone and saying 'hello'. The spectrum of possibilities is wider, but the likely outcome is still positive.
I'm still thinking of the worst outcome, but I'm trying to moderate that tendancy, and accepting that ... well, sometimes worst cases happen, and when they do... well, they're rarely so extremely bad, and there's a positive learning experience there.
I spent all too long letting opportunities pass. Time to buck that trend.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 08:35 pm (UTC)Seconded.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-12 10:48 pm (UTC)Either the risk-avoidant are lousy at estimating risk or they actually _are_ at risk of more pain.
The first is probably due to over-thinking/worrying about things. The only cure I've found to that is being too busy to spend time driving myself around the bend - I am not sure I can change myself that much.
One possibility for the latter is to do with experience - some people have led a very sheltered life. Most people go through a lot of stuff as a kid/teen and develop all sorts of emotional callouses/armour.
Developing this armour is unlikely to be pleasant - we learn everything slower as we get older - but probably essential.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 09:06 pm (UTC)That's pretty terrifying, all things considered. But also perhaps one of the greatest things in life. One of the opportunities that you get to take as it comes, and make the best of.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-11 07:49 am (UTC)Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.
Julius Caesar Act 4, scene 3, 218–224