sobrique | Beer ettiquette.

OK, my posting rate is slowed, cos I can't type well.

Someone asked me, some time ago, what's with this whole 'buying drinks' thing. (She was Malaysian, and didn't really have a handle on British drink culture).

I found the 86 rules of boozing. It's not entirely the English take on such things, but there are a few words of wisdom there.

Anyhow, here's my take on the thing.

One of the things about buying someone a drink is that it's somewhat ambiguous. And therefore easy to pass off as 'just a drink'.

Buying a drink may mean:
a) I like your company
b) thank you
c) I admire/respect you
d) I'm going to the bar, and I feel generous.
e) Buying rounds is a more efficient way to get beer, since I only have to make one trip in x.

Accepting a drink may mean:
a) Thanks for the drink. I don't like you, but I'll take your gifts anyway.
b) I acknowledge your compliment/thanks, and accept this drink as my due tribute.
c) I acknowledge your compliment, and I'll get you a drink in return.
d) I'm poor.
e) Yeah, rounds are good, let's do that.

Refusing a drink may mean:
a) Sorry, not interested, go away and die somewhere
b) Actually, I'm not interested. I might be if I get drunk enough, which is why I decline.
c) I've had a bit too much, and don't want to be ill.
d) I've got 18 pints lined up in front of me. There's no way I'll finish these before closing time
e) I don't think I've done anything especially worthy of acceptance of this drink, and I'm not up for doing rounds.
f) Actually, I'm a koala and I don't drink.
g) Thanks, I have one, and would otherwise accept, but I don't want to be too greedy/drunk.

The very ambiguity allows a bloke to buy a girl a drink, and sorta quietly say 'I like you'. And neither party has to admit that's the way it is. Of course, it could also be one of the other options too, so it can be rather hard to tell.

Ditto buying a beer for a friend. It has a variety of potential meanings,

One of the reasons groups of drinkers get so emotional is not because of the booze, but because of all the repressed emotion implied by having gone through 10 rounds of mutual respect and admiration. Honest :)

So you see, buying someone a drink fulfills two roles. A 'quiet drink' when shared between a couple apparantly ranks somewhere between a handshake and a kiss. When shared between a group of friends is a bonding, sharing experience. The emphasis is on the sharing in that regard, because to repeatedly accept tribute, without offering your own may be considered arrogant, and have the opposite effect.

And so, we have a new social dynamic. The ambiguous signalling of drinks in a bar. A way of express feelings and opinions phrased quietly in such a way as to allow one to deny that was what they meant if rejected (even to themselves).