First impressions

[sobrique]

First impressions.

I used to think that image didn't matter. After all, I told my self, all the people out there who are actually worth getting to know, don't care about what's on the surface anyway.

It's not true. Everyone you run into will pre judge you. Everyone.

Many are wise enough to temper this first judgement, and not assume that just because you happen to be looking hungover and bleary now doesn't mean you always will.

Quite a few will get to know you, and not care. However theres quite a lot more who will make a snap decision. If there's thirty people at a party, then why are they going to want to talk to the odd one out skulking in the corner? If there's 20 people who all really want this job, why should they make the effort to draw out one, when a large fraction of the others are much easier to get started with.

I saw some research findings a while back, that compared 'hiring decisions'.* One sample set they showed the whole half hour interview. The other sample set they showed the first 5 seconds. There was a very high correlation between the decision groups.

It's like when you're buying a cake off the desert counter. You're definitely going to have desert, but it's a question of which. Generally you'll pick the one that looks good.

It's generally the case in a social environment, and it's also often the case in an interview (This is assuming of course, that you have several candidates able to do it).

The other thing I didn't quite twig, is that the major factor in that 'first impression' isn't often physical looks. Yes, there's a few genuinely gorgeous people out there, who in all ways look stunning, even when hung over and have just got out of bed. Most aren't though.

Almost everyone you meet who you think 'looks good' has probably put some effort into doing so. Body language is also pretty important. Convince yourself that you're horrible and should be in a corner, and people will be able to tell. Convince yourself that you're fantastic, and that will also show. (OK, there comes a point where it crosses to arrogance, but of most of the people I know, the problem isn't too much self confidence, it's too little).

Job interviews are a similar case in many ways. The major difference is that you won't have a lot of time to correct that first impression. How you look as you walk in the door will have a major impact on the rest of the interview. If you're the most appropriate person for that job, but go in looking like you can't be bothered, then you'll have a harder time than the other guy who's only able to do 90%, but is wearing a suit and tie.

Yes, all the good people in the world will consider you as a human being, and still be understanding and appreciate your problems. The other 99% who are just mostly good will pre-judge and then step back and re-interpret. They will try and overcome that little barrier of prejudice, because that's the right thing to do. The bigger the barrier you set in their way though, the harder it becomes for them to do it.

Don't put barriers in the way of your new friends. Remember, there's actually remarkably few people who aren't prepared to or don't want more friends.

* nope, I don't have a reference at all.

Comments

[xarrion.livejournal.com]

It's like when you're buying a cake off the desert counter. You're definitely going to have desert, but it's a question of which

Mmmm, yummy Sahara cake.