sobrique | Stealth incriminator

From an early age, I have been trained in the arts of infiltration and assassination.

Now those that know me, may think this is unlikely. And to a certain extent this is true. You see, I've retired. When you're quite as good as me, things like that get too easy, and hence boring. But when one has a skill, it really is a pity to let it fall into disuse.

I am the Stealth Incriminator.

I am the one that sneaks into your house, and steal the last of the toilet roll.

I am the one that sets off stink bombs in your bathroom.

I eat the last after eight mint.

I am the one that in the dead of night will steal all the forks, and return them 3 days later.

I have placed packets of cigarettes next to the chair of an ex-smoker.

I am the one that empties the milk bottle, and puts it back in the fridge. Or the jam jar, and puts it back in the cupboard.

I've left unidenified lingerie in the laundry basket.

And I've sneakily turned electric ovens on overnight.

You never see me do it. That's just how good I am. But next time something strange happens, just remember. I've been there. It is merely my perverse sense of humour that keeps you safe and alive.