Dis/Connect

[sobrique]

It's funny isn't it. How crises can focus your attention on a thing that previously seemed irrelevant.

You see, I'm increasingly feeling disconnected from the my circle of friends. How much of that is because they're changing and how much because I'm changing, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never figure that one out.

But I'm finding that I'm losing tolerance and patience. Or maybe it's because I've become more distant and arrogant.

But recent events have crystallised a question before me, that I didn't really realise was there.

"What am I still doing here?".

A year ago. I was working at Alstom. There were roleplay games, and circles of friends and evenings at the pub. It seems to have just degenerated into an apathetic melancholia.

Not an awful lot has changed.

Oh, there's some few who's company I would genuinely still seek, but at what point does apathy and disconnection change a friend to an acquaintance.

And now I'm nearer 30 than 20, I see a thing. The last year has passed by in something of a haze. Enthusiasm flagging, tolerance fading.

Perhaps it's now time to move on. To seek new opportunities and avenues of development. I'm less attached than I'll ever be, here on.

And so, gradually, this rambling monologue fades without conclusion.

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

Comments

[nuala.livejournal.com]

Nah, I totally get it. I'm all about change and new shinys. Short attention span combined with a Mom who was an Army Brat (daughter of a Colonel in the Army, they moved every few years when she was growing up) and parents who were divorced, I never stayed in one place growing up. It's difficult for me to do so now.

If you're in that place, then do it. Life's too short to be tired and jaded and bored. :o)