New year's resolutions
May. 7th, 2004 02:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sobriqueMay is a good time to talk about new year's resolutions I find.
Because by then, you've had a chance to assess whether you held them or not. And you have had enough time to consider a resolution for next year without jumping at something that's just going to flop.
A year and a half ago I made myself a resolution.
I would not be afraid of failing anymore.
Oh, I'm not talking a blithe disregard of consequences. It's just too often in my life I've held back. Because I'm afraid of being rejected, scorned or derided.
I've been a little insecure, and 'cautious' of new situations. Sometimes not talking to people in case they decide that they don't want to. Of not offering or asking for help, because I didn't want to be an imposition or intrusive.
I'm not entirely there. But I am making progress. I still go defensive in a new situation. But I'm learning, and demonstrating to myself that actually, there are remarkably few genuine arseholes in the world.
Rejection still stings, but in all honesty, that happens so infrequently that it can almost be discounted. I've met a _lot_ of new people over the last 18 months.
It's been remarkably few situations where I've experienced rejection, and an awful lot more positive experiences that I'd have missed out on.
Started Larping. Ended up as a Ref of SINergy. Went to Maelstrom, and of 800 people, had 'several' people recognise who we were as a group.
Oh, and started livejournaling. So I can spam details of my life in a 'you don't have to read it, but if you feel like it, great' sort of way.
I've changed. I've grown. (And I'm not talking in trouser size). And I honestly like the difference.
Ok, that may just be me being an arrogant tosser, but ... well I don't think so.
I'm not going to knock introversion. I've spent ... well nearly 25 years finding it 'hard to talk to people'. And in all honesty, I still find it hard just to pick up the phone and call someone.
It comes down to self confidence. Belief in your own abilities.
Recognise what you can and can't do. But be realistic. Both in the positive and negative sense.
If there's things you can't do then fine. No one can do everything. But keep in mind the things that you _can_ do. And remember, that pretty much everyone out there starts at the same point when it comes to social interaction - they're usually just as nervous about it as you are.
I find that ironically roleplay helps a lot in that regard. Once you realise that 'In Character' you can do stuff and be friendly and outgoing, well it becomes not much more of a leap to do the same 'Out of Character'.
Believe in yourself. Because your life is your own, and you can do anything.
Because by then, you've had a chance to assess whether you held them or not. And you have had enough time to consider a resolution for next year without jumping at something that's just going to flop.
A year and a half ago I made myself a resolution.
I would not be afraid of failing anymore.
Oh, I'm not talking a blithe disregard of consequences. It's just too often in my life I've held back. Because I'm afraid of being rejected, scorned or derided.
I've been a little insecure, and 'cautious' of new situations. Sometimes not talking to people in case they decide that they don't want to. Of not offering or asking for help, because I didn't want to be an imposition or intrusive.
I'm not entirely there. But I am making progress. I still go defensive in a new situation. But I'm learning, and demonstrating to myself that actually, there are remarkably few genuine arseholes in the world.
Rejection still stings, but in all honesty, that happens so infrequently that it can almost be discounted. I've met a _lot_ of new people over the last 18 months.
It's been remarkably few situations where I've experienced rejection, and an awful lot more positive experiences that I'd have missed out on.
Started Larping. Ended up as a Ref of SINergy. Went to Maelstrom, and of 800 people, had 'several' people recognise who we were as a group.
Oh, and started livejournaling. So I can spam details of my life in a 'you don't have to read it, but if you feel like it, great' sort of way.
I've changed. I've grown. (And I'm not talking in trouser size). And I honestly like the difference.
Ok, that may just be me being an arrogant tosser, but ... well I don't think so.
I'm not going to knock introversion. I've spent ... well nearly 25 years finding it 'hard to talk to people'. And in all honesty, I still find it hard just to pick up the phone and call someone.
It comes down to self confidence. Belief in your own abilities.
Recognise what you can and can't do. But be realistic. Both in the positive and negative sense.
If there's things you can't do then fine. No one can do everything. But keep in mind the things that you _can_ do. And remember, that pretty much everyone out there starts at the same point when it comes to social interaction - they're usually just as nervous about it as you are.
I find that ironically roleplay helps a lot in that regard. Once you realise that 'In Character' you can do stuff and be friendly and outgoing, well it becomes not much more of a leap to do the same 'Out of Character'.
Believe in yourself. Because your life is your own, and you can do anything.
