Excuses and life.
Apr. 19th, 2004 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sobriqueOne of the sad facts of life is this: The world doesn't care about your excuse.
This sounds somewhat harsh, but the simple fact is this. It doesn't matter why you failed, only that you failed. Most will accept your excuse, and forgive your failing. The problem is this though - failure doesn't require forgiveness.
Everyone makes mistakes. Some large, some small, but every day unwise choices are made. Hindsight brings clarity to bad choices, but without being able to tell the future, you can never
The real problem is in those who think that failing is a bad thing. It's not. Well, not entirely. You see, it's ok to make mistakes. That's how we learn. Even if the mistake is only in not listening to some well meant, and perceptive advice.
But accepting excuses is the real mistake. You see, what an excuse is, is a way of transferring blame. Of avoiding responsibility. If one makes excuses for their actions, then they're not accepting that there was _some way_ that they could have avoided the problem. There almost certainly was.
So next time you feel inclined to offer an excuse, consider carefully whether you're trying to deny responsibility, and if there actually was a way that you could have done better, to avoid the problem which you are
making excuses for.
But accept too, that there are things that are genuinely unavoidable or unpredictable. These don't need to be excused either. If there was a train crash, or you were ill, or there was a family emergency then that's fine. There are always things that are a genuine priority or just random chance.
I'll forgive you your failings, as I hope you'll forgive mine.
I'll not accept excuses. Because I'm not worried about the reason. Either it's an excuse, and I don't care, or something genuinely went wrong, and that's fine too.
I will expect you to learn. A mistake is an opportunity to grow in wisdom.
Don't waste it.
This sounds somewhat harsh, but the simple fact is this. It doesn't matter why you failed, only that you failed. Most will accept your excuse, and forgive your failing. The problem is this though - failure doesn't require forgiveness.
Everyone makes mistakes. Some large, some small, but every day unwise choices are made. Hindsight brings clarity to bad choices, but without being able to tell the future, you can never
The real problem is in those who think that failing is a bad thing. It's not. Well, not entirely. You see, it's ok to make mistakes. That's how we learn. Even if the mistake is only in not listening to some well meant, and perceptive advice.
But accepting excuses is the real mistake. You see, what an excuse is, is a way of transferring blame. Of avoiding responsibility. If one makes excuses for their actions, then they're not accepting that there was _some way_ that they could have avoided the problem. There almost certainly was.
So next time you feel inclined to offer an excuse, consider carefully whether you're trying to deny responsibility, and if there actually was a way that you could have done better, to avoid the problem which you are
making excuses for.
But accept too, that there are things that are genuinely unavoidable or unpredictable. These don't need to be excused either. If there was a train crash, or you were ill, or there was a family emergency then that's fine. There are always things that are a genuine priority or just random chance.
I'll forgive you your failings, as I hope you'll forgive mine.
I'll not accept excuses. Because I'm not worried about the reason. Either it's an excuse, and I don't care, or something genuinely went wrong, and that's fine too.
I will expect you to learn. A mistake is an opportunity to grow in wisdom.
Don't waste it.
