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sobriqueWell, a while back I wrote a post about 'people's varied faces'.
I was just thinking about that, recently. You see, since that post I've become involved in roleplay, most specifically live action roleplay. In an abstract sense, it's a case of assuming a persona in what amounts to a consequence free environment - At least, the consequences are in game, rather than 'out of game'.
The reason I think this is interesting, is because for ... about 4 years now, I've been playing a character at Maelstrom, that I essentially set up to be a bit of an extravert. Thorn's a priest of one of the in character religions. Part of that involves wandering around camp sites spreading the 'good word'.
Believe it or not, I've not always been particularly good at approaching people - throughout school I was actually quite introverted and quiet at times, and would very rarely initiate contact with someone I didn't know quite well.
I did start at... about university ... trying to put aside that. Didn't do all that well, but ... well it was a start. What's really made the difference though, I think is getting to explore that part of me, at a LARP - I got to play someone who was confident and outgoing, but allowing my to 'abstract' a bit, the initial discomfort of 'saying hello'. I mean, most people - especially at a LARP - are actually quite nice, but it does take a certain amount of proving to yourself that actually this is the case.
Which brings me to the question - as you build and rebuild your various personae, do you ever get to a point where those shadow walls around yourself converge on the 'real you'? And is it actually possible to modify who you are through a concious choice, or is it just the case that you're resisting/forcing yourself internally? I mean in the sense that one can choose to swear less, e.g. around children, by being observant, but is it actually possible to stop being the kind of person who does?
How much do these pressures cost us? If we're either consciously or unconciously changing ourselves, then at what point do we lose sight of who we were?
I was just thinking about that, recently. You see, since that post I've become involved in roleplay, most specifically live action roleplay. In an abstract sense, it's a case of assuming a persona in what amounts to a consequence free environment - At least, the consequences are in game, rather than 'out of game'.
The reason I think this is interesting, is because for ... about 4 years now, I've been playing a character at Maelstrom, that I essentially set up to be a bit of an extravert. Thorn's a priest of one of the in character religions. Part of that involves wandering around camp sites spreading the 'good word'.
Believe it or not, I've not always been particularly good at approaching people - throughout school I was actually quite introverted and quiet at times, and would very rarely initiate contact with someone I didn't know quite well.
I did start at... about university ... trying to put aside that. Didn't do all that well, but ... well it was a start. What's really made the difference though, I think is getting to explore that part of me, at a LARP - I got to play someone who was confident and outgoing, but allowing my to 'abstract' a bit, the initial discomfort of 'saying hello'. I mean, most people - especially at a LARP - are actually quite nice, but it does take a certain amount of proving to yourself that actually this is the case.
Which brings me to the question - as you build and rebuild your various personae, do you ever get to a point where those shadow walls around yourself converge on the 'real you'? And is it actually possible to modify who you are through a concious choice, or is it just the case that you're resisting/forcing yourself internally? I mean in the sense that one can choose to swear less, e.g. around children, by being observant, but is it actually possible to stop being the kind of person who does?
How much do these pressures cost us? If we're either consciously or unconciously changing ourselves, then at what point do we lose sight of who we were?
