Would you vote for this?

[sobrique]

Elections posting.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Edward Rolison. My friends call me Ed. I live in a rented house in Coventry city centre, shared with some friends. I don't actually know what would be good for this country. I have a few ideas, but no idea if they'll even work.

But the thing is, I do know what's bad for this country. It's having the show, run by politicians. Seriously. The last person who should be 'in charge' is someone who actually wants to be in charge.

So. I work in IT. I earn enough to live fairly well, but not enough to buy myself a house. I pay taxes, and don't like it. But I understand the need for them. I look around me, and see police on the street, and a health service that is free, and I appreciate why I pay taxes. A government doesn't exist to give money back. It exists to take as little as it needs, and use it as effectively as possible.

I go out some friday nights, to the pub with my friends.

I don't think I'm going to win this election. $BOOKIES have given my odds at $AMOUNT. And it's apparantly $AMOUNT that I'll even get my deposit back. (I have a tenner on my actually winning though, and if I do, I can guarantee that I'll be holding an impressive party).

So in many ways, a vote for me, is a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE. A vote for me, is a vote saying, that actually you'd like someone who wasn't 'playing politics' all the time, to have the authority to make the decisions that affect you. Someone who will choose the BEST path, not the most popular one.

In the unlikely event that I do win - and after my big party - I will promise, that I will make decisions the the best of my ability to do so, for the good of YOU. I'm not going to promise to cut your taxes, or give you stuff, but I will make every effort to ensure that every penny the goverment takes from you, is used well and wisely. I'll stand up and heckle the pompous windbags, who are spinning the truth to win the next election. And then, once the term is over, I'll go back to doing a _real_ job.

Comments

[csi-ellie.livejournal.com]

If I can come to the party, you get my vote. Sadly I'm not in your constituency.

[jorune.livejournal.com]

No.

You need to make it more direct and punchier. Take a look at this clip on Youtube to see how Hollywood did None of the above.

[purp1e-magic.livejournal.com]

I would vote for this guy rather than actively abstain, simply because it's more likely to achieve something. But I'm not likely to want to spoil my vote any time soon. It's a close choice for me between Lib Dem and Green, so there are two better candidates in any case.

[purp1e-magic.livejournal.com]

I disagree. This guy is saying I'm just this bloke who believes in something, and am doing what I can. The more you try to snazz it up, the more you undermine his message.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I was proof-reading these things with a bunch of political activists sitting there for most of my childhood :D here are some comments.

I like most of it, but I think the first and second paragraph need to be slightly more snappy and slightly less chatty. Also, you start with a negative in the first paragraph, "I don't actually know what would be good for this country". People who are very busy - and this looks like the vote that you are very rightly aiming at - are going to read the first paragraph and then make a snap decision on whether to keep reading or throw the leaflet in the recycling bin, so the first paragraph needs to summarise what you stand for instead of containing the qualifiers for the rest of the message. In fact, I would be tempted to rearrange the bottom paragraph a bit, and put that as the first paragraph as well, to get the message home to the stupid people as well.

Another thing: you want to reduce it as much as possible so (a) it is short and looks easy to read while you're waiting for the kettle to boil, (b) there are fewer words, so when you are designing the leaflet, you can put it in as large a font as possible, which believe me given the quality of a lot of election material is an asset. Also many people have bad eyesight or read these things before they put their contact lenses in in the mornings!

Yay for elections and getting involved!

[dmh.livejournal.com]

Hmm. You could start with more of a positive spin in the first para. How about, "My name is Ed, and I've got a spaceship!"

[http://users.livejournal.com/tomf_/]

I'd vote for -you-, because elections are mostly a popularity contest and knowing someone on the council/in parliament is very handy. But I wouldn't vote for a stranger if this was all I knew about them.

I would want to know why this person wants to be elected, and what they hope to achieve during their term. Heckling the pompous windbags might be fun, but I don't see what it would do for me as a voter.

[xarrion.livejournal.com]

Not bad for a first draft of intent, but you convey a lack of political tact in how you phrase things which I think may embed a perhaps subconscious suggestion that you might not be able to actually accomplish anything. Sorry for lack of elaboration, am on my phone.

[dj-rws.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing, from knowing you and you're previous posts related to politics, that your brief description is: Ed: An honest guy who wants to work towards an honest government, or something to that effect. However that doesn't really seem to come through. The ordinary guy wanting to "do good" comes through but I'm not so sure about the application to government.

If you're going to do the "I can do your job better, Mr. Brown" approach then you probably should have a manifesto of things you believe are good for Coventry/the country and in brief something you want to do about it, you claim to have ideas afterall, however a link to your website for such things is all that's required, don't put the details on the flyer. And as other people have said, "be more positive". After the first two paragraphs I thought what a nice guy wanting to do nice things but he doesn't seem to have a clue. I'm sure if you're more positive and specific then it'll help. Oh and you might not want to slag off politicians that much because any way you look at it you're still running to become one so contradiction doesn't hold well. Just a few brief musings anyway.

As for whether I'd vote for you if I was undecided, I might be tempted if I knew what some of your ideas were so I really think you should have a manifesto on a website or something just so that if people are that interested they'll be impressed by what they find.

[elrohana.livejournal.com]

No, I wouldn't, but then I'm a committed green voter. However I do know here you're coming from and I have considered the same approach myself at local council level. And then decided I'm too damn busy to be a councillor so didn't bother. Its almost the same sort of ticket that got Martin Bell elected against Neil Hamilton - I'm the normal bloke, I'm a good guy, vote for me. Though the Douglas Adams oblique reference nearly sold me :)