Permanant accounts

Everyone's subscribed to news aren't they?
Anyway, permanant accounts are going to be on sale, for a 24 hour period. $150 for an LJ forevah!
That's like 82 beer tokens. Which is very tempting, given my spamming tendancies.

Simultaneity

Why is it everything seems to go wrong at once?
Had a kernel panic on my backup server overnight. Which is very depressing, my unbroken stint of 'almost no solaris server crashes' is broken, and this machine is very fast reaching the same average as an NT server.

And I've a webserver for $important_project that decided to go 'pop' overnight too. And it's being remarkably reticent about why - no messages at all in log files for the last few days. Which either means a bad disk, or suspicous activity. Either is a pain, as this system is due for an important upgrade this weekend.

Oh well, it's why I do this job. For the interesting problems. It's just not fair when two come along at once. It's like getting two huge chocolate cakes. You'd enjoy either one of them with relative leisure, and you could even have a good munch at one now. But having two at once'd that you've got to deal with just leaves you feeling a little queasy.

Phone handset

Well, there was this guy, ya'see, a while back, who realised making big chunky handsets for phones was kinda cool. And he did it on ebay, and they sold at rather fierce price.
He's opened a shop now. For £40 you can have a 'real' handset for your mobile.
P*Phone handset

Now if only he did a bluetooth one...

Bow down before me

I am the only person who can fix this particular problem that you have got.
I consider it non-urgent.
I've been off work for 6 weeks (broken leg, torn ligament, oh the pain, oh woe was me), and was pretty damn busy before that.
I have a large backlog.
I have had two servers die overnight. Both of which are business critical systems.
I have a couple of really urgent projects on the go.
One of which is in the 'if it doesn't finish on time, it starts costing us around 2 grand a day' sort of urgent.
Oh, and this really urgent project started 6 weeks late. We have 4 weeks left in which to implement 10 weeks worth of project.
As a result, I have permission from my boss to tell anyone who gets in my way to F.O.A.D.
You'd better be pretty damn convincing* that this trival bit of irritating crap that's landed on my desk because someone weaseled and fobbed it off on me is worth my even reading.
In fact, trying to imply that I'm an idiot for not having sorted it sooner, despite the delay being a result of me asking you for the relevant software and getting stonewalled, is really not a good start.
My work queue really is long enough right now, that I can "prioritize" your request so far down it it'll be 6 months before I even realise it still exists.

BOW DOWN BEFORE ME! FEAR MY PRIORITIZATION POWERS!

*(yes, I do take bribes)

(erm. I have no idea where that came from)