Rate my Rant

Periodically, one encounters rants on livejournal.
I think we all know what I mean. The diatribe about how a particular thing, be it person, subset of people, object, medium or ... well anything that could be called a 'thing'... really really sucks.

And I've seen good rants, average rants, and poor rants.

So here's a question for you.
What criteria do you use for judging a rant that you read?

Eloquence?
Accuracy?
Gratuitous use of swearwords?
Punctuation?

I'm thinking in terms of the scoring system you get at athletic events,
points for style, technical merit, artistic impression...