Nandos Restaurant

[sobrique]

Well, sadly Nandos does not get the Ed seal of approval.

Went there this evening, to meet up with portilis, and several other of the Cov 'regulars'.

This was all well and good.
Then I found out that they did unlimited refills of $soft drink of choice. Always a good move on the part of an eatery, they rip you off for the drinks anyway, so refills are a good thing.

And now, let me inform you of a little factoid about me. It's nothing earth shattering. If you've never met me, you can continue your lives without a further thought, beyond the vague ponderance of strangeness.

You see, I'm allergic to chicken. Actually, I'm allergic to pretty much all meat of an avian origin. Not the 'ack I'll die' sort of allergic. More the "if somethings been cooked with it, I know and feel a little ill. If I actually eat more than a teensy bit, I start to itch, suffer a rash and my face starts to blister" sort of allergic.

But anyway, drinks were fine, I was on call this evening, so unlimited Cola suited me just fine. Only to find, on perusal of their menu was that their dish was chicken. Yes, following in the footsteps of Mr. Ford, you could have whatever you liked, provided that it was chicken. You could have top bits, bottom bits, leggy bits, wingy bits. You can have spicy bits, lemony bits, chargrilled bits, whole chickens, little chickens, big chickens, partial chickens, chickens up the arse (actually, I made that last bit up).

But anyway, I digress. They do chicken. That's it. For someone who cannot eat chicken, I've learned that KFC is not my thing. I avoid it, because there is literally no point in me going in. OK, maybe to get chips.

However, in my persual of the menu, considering how I'd assemble a meal of garlic bread, chips and side salad, I noticed, sitting casually in the corner, my life raft. A Steak Roll! Lo! I was saved. Just for stubborn souls who just for the hell of it, come to a chicken restaurant, and decide that actually, they fancy something beefy, they had steak.

Somewhat reassured, I proceeded to the checkout to order.
I was astounded by their response.

"We don't do that".

My wail of dispair penetrated the very walls.
These evil bastards had snatched away my one lifeline, the last option before insanity and chaos.

I was faced with the rather unappealing choice. I could have the 'vegetarian option'. Yes, I had a choice of:

Bean Burger (in bun)
Bean Burger (in pitta)
Veggie Burger (in bun)
Veggie Burger (in pitta).

Now leaving aside the discussion of whether vegetarianism is optional or not, is this what the veggies out there usually face? A paltry selection of frankly dismally unexciting choices?

Now I'm almost an anti-vegetarian. I distain many a dish that does not contain the essential component known as meat. I say almost, since there is a very nice Iranian restaurant called 'Habibi' in Coventry, and their vegetarian menu is extremely good. I am well aware that 'nice vegetable dishes' can be done. It's just usually they aren't.

I opted for the Bean burger. When it arrived, pray don't get me wrong, it was about as appetising and appealing as a bean burger could be. A culinary delight, on a par with creatively cooking cardboard and serving it up.

Sadly, it just doesn't change the fact that the purpose of a bean is to accompany. As the small section of an orchestra, it's part in the meal is that of an assistant. It assists admirably in accompanying eggs, sausages and bacon for example, in making a breakfast.

Chips weren't stunning either, but when creatively garnished with extreme-death-chilli-sauce they proved an interesting challenge to my taste bud.

I seriously considered popping out, across the road to mcdonalds or pizza hut, to grab 'non chicken meat'.
And walk back into Nandos, with a Big Mac under my arm (not to eat you understand, merely to make the point that there is more to food than Chicken).

Sadly, coward that I am, I decided that that would count as fowl play on my part.