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sobriqueBlokes typically aren't comfortable using the word 'love'. I think this is in measure because it's to vague a concept, and thus too open to misunderstanding. It is also in measure, because that being emotional is covered by an unspoken taboo.
The greeks had three words for 'love'. Eros, Filios and Agape.
I think they are words that are missing from English.
The translate approximately as
Eros: Love involving the body. Passion, lust and physical attraction.
Filios: Love involving the mind. Brothers, sisters, friends.
Agape: Love involving the soul. Typically ascribed to the love of God/Gods.
A "relationship" in the sense of a couple, usually involves all three, in varying quantities. Usually it starts with Eros, develops with Filios, and then grows further into Agape.
But all relationships between people are in some measure defined by at least one of these. Friendship is a form of love. In fact, it's almost the definition of the greek concept 'filios'. It's worth remembering every day.
Our culture and morals tends to emphasise monogamous relationships. This, I believe, is not out of any absolute of morality, but simply because in the majority of cases, a couple is the most stable long term structure. There is no third party with which to express grievance or discontent, and so there is no solution apart from honesty.
Love in all it's forms is not a finite quantity. There can be no betrayal, no disappointment. It's simply a fact.
Trust is another core concept of a relationship. Unlike love, it can be broken, betrayed. Offering trust is the most difficult thing. Some people you can trust to help when it's needed, to keep innermost secrets, and to always be there. Others you cannot.
Every relationship has a measure of trust. And trust, unlike love is not blind. In trusting, you place an obligation on a person. It is necessary to choose wisely where you'd place your trust. Everyone you'd trust, may not see the world in the same way. A thing that you'd consider a very private matter, might not seem the same way to them.
The only thing you can truly trust a person to do is be themselves. You can hope that they'll change, you can even love them, but you simply cannot trust anyone to be something that they are not.
In linking love and trust, you are linking a blind emotion, with one that can be betrayed. So I would say to all:
Love unreservedly, trust wisely.
And now I come to the hardest part to write. I'm not naturally an emotional person. Every now and then, I get frustrated, angry or upset. But I calm down and recover quickly. And so expressing and emotion is hard.
I love all those I consider friends. It is compassion. It is the concept of filios. And I feel enriched because of it. Thank you.
I turned down my offer of a job from AAH. I've had to think a lot over the last few days about my future, and what is 'best'. I'd like to say thanks to all those who have offered advice, insights, wisdom and patience. It has been helpful in understanding the best choice.
In some strange ways, the recent schism and arguing amongst friends has helped. It has forced my to think about what's _really important_.
At the end of the day, it's not about the money. It's not about the commute time. It's about the fact that at Alstom, I fit in. I'm a part of the community here, and I really enjoy it. It's interesting and exciting.
I daresay that AAH would have been good, but I have come to realise what I already have, and it's value to me.
Throwing away a good thing, in favour of greener grass is also not the course of wisdom.
"May you live in interesting times" used to be a chinese curse. I would respond now, with "I wouldn't have it any other way". Today, life is good.
The greeks had three words for 'love'. Eros, Filios and Agape.
I think they are words that are missing from English.
The translate approximately as
Eros: Love involving the body. Passion, lust and physical attraction.
Filios: Love involving the mind. Brothers, sisters, friends.
Agape: Love involving the soul. Typically ascribed to the love of God/Gods.
A "relationship" in the sense of a couple, usually involves all three, in varying quantities. Usually it starts with Eros, develops with Filios, and then grows further into Agape.
But all relationships between people are in some measure defined by at least one of these. Friendship is a form of love. In fact, it's almost the definition of the greek concept 'filios'. It's worth remembering every day.
Our culture and morals tends to emphasise monogamous relationships. This, I believe, is not out of any absolute of morality, but simply because in the majority of cases, a couple is the most stable long term structure. There is no third party with which to express grievance or discontent, and so there is no solution apart from honesty.
Love in all it's forms is not a finite quantity. There can be no betrayal, no disappointment. It's simply a fact.
Trust is another core concept of a relationship. Unlike love, it can be broken, betrayed. Offering trust is the most difficult thing. Some people you can trust to help when it's needed, to keep innermost secrets, and to always be there. Others you cannot.
Every relationship has a measure of trust. And trust, unlike love is not blind. In trusting, you place an obligation on a person. It is necessary to choose wisely where you'd place your trust. Everyone you'd trust, may not see the world in the same way. A thing that you'd consider a very private matter, might not seem the same way to them.
The only thing you can truly trust a person to do is be themselves. You can hope that they'll change, you can even love them, but you simply cannot trust anyone to be something that they are not.
In linking love and trust, you are linking a blind emotion, with one that can be betrayed. So I would say to all:
Love unreservedly, trust wisely.
And now I come to the hardest part to write. I'm not naturally an emotional person. Every now and then, I get frustrated, angry or upset. But I calm down and recover quickly. And so expressing and emotion is hard.
I love all those I consider friends. It is compassion. It is the concept of filios. And I feel enriched because of it. Thank you.
I turned down my offer of a job from AAH. I've had to think a lot over the last few days about my future, and what is 'best'. I'd like to say thanks to all those who have offered advice, insights, wisdom and patience. It has been helpful in understanding the best choice.
In some strange ways, the recent schism and arguing amongst friends has helped. It has forced my to think about what's _really important_.
At the end of the day, it's not about the money. It's not about the commute time. It's about the fact that at Alstom, I fit in. I'm a part of the community here, and I really enjoy it. It's interesting and exciting.
I daresay that AAH would have been good, but I have come to realise what I already have, and it's value to me.
Throwing away a good thing, in favour of greener grass is also not the course of wisdom.
"May you live in interesting times" used to be a chinese curse. I would respond now, with "I wouldn't have it any other way". Today, life is good.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-21 02:29 am (UTC)