EEEeeeeevil
Jul. 12th, 2004 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sobriqueI have experienced the ultimate evil.
Yes, I have been to Ikea. I have experienced this massive operation of large scale swedish brain washing.
I have held to the belief that Ikea is the death knell of bachelorhood, and now I, having experienced this evil, I am now convinced.
In Ikea, one must follow the Ikea way. There is a path, around the show room, which by sheer force of crowd pressure (does that count as peer pressure?) you must follow. Going the Other Way is non compliant, and you will encounter a stream of resistance.
And you will see things, gruesome images of 'nice' furniture, shocking sights of poor blokes tormented into qualitative decisions by their girlfriends and
horrific scenes of twee living rooms.
It is a terrible place. For as you progress around the showroom, your will to resist the Ikea way is insidiously eroded.
And just about the point where you feel you can take NO MORE, as you complete the path around the showroom, and you must leave or else crack, you find that there is no way out. You must face the terror of the market place, where you must select accessories for your newly acquired furniture.
It is pyschologically calculated insidiousness. There has been a rash of weddings and engagements recently, and I am convinced that the evils of Ikea are to blame.
I think I managed to escape unscathed, and yet even I had to force myself to resist the allure of a Really Comfy chair.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sebbo is doomed.
I went for two 'cheap but big' bookshelves. I left with the bookshelves, a computer desk, and another twenty quid's worth of stuff. This I consider a minor price to pay, in this lesson. NEVER AGAIN! I declare.
Thankfully, I was able to re-assert the balance of my psyche, by watching Fight Club whilst assembling Ikea furniture. This I feel, was irony at it's best.
On a slightly related point, does anyone else think thatjorune might be in need of brainwashing, getting married, and settling in his nice house? :)
I was vaguely concerned that I was overdoing it on 2 bookshelves, + a 3rd from a friend (thanksgingerboy) but I've managed to fill them. It's so good to be seeing my books once more. I have now 'found' a huge stack of books, and thought 'ooh, would like to read that again.
Oh and the garden, front and back, has been brutally butchered by judicious use of weedkiller, a strimmer and a lawnmower (Thanks topaulw).
Somehow I managed to 'use up' all my strimmer flex which is rather a lot. Mostly I think due to the horrific amounts of plasticy toys, bits of metal that used to be lager cans, and ... well over enthusiasm on my part...
Yes, I have been to Ikea. I have experienced this massive operation of large scale swedish brain washing.
I have held to the belief that Ikea is the death knell of bachelorhood, and now I, having experienced this evil, I am now convinced.
In Ikea, one must follow the Ikea way. There is a path, around the show room, which by sheer force of crowd pressure (does that count as peer pressure?) you must follow. Going the Other Way is non compliant, and you will encounter a stream of resistance.
And you will see things, gruesome images of 'nice' furniture, shocking sights of poor blokes tormented into qualitative decisions by their girlfriends and
horrific scenes of twee living rooms.
It is a terrible place. For as you progress around the showroom, your will to resist the Ikea way is insidiously eroded.
And just about the point where you feel you can take NO MORE, as you complete the path around the showroom, and you must leave or else crack, you find that there is no way out. You must face the terror of the market place, where you must select accessories for your newly acquired furniture.
It is pyschologically calculated insidiousness. There has been a rash of weddings and engagements recently, and I am convinced that the evils of Ikea are to blame.
I think I managed to escape unscathed, and yet even I had to force myself to resist the allure of a Really Comfy chair.
sebbo is doomed.I went for two 'cheap but big' bookshelves. I left with the bookshelves, a computer desk, and another twenty quid's worth of stuff. This I consider a minor price to pay, in this lesson. NEVER AGAIN! I declare.
Thankfully, I was able to re-assert the balance of my psyche, by watching Fight Club whilst assembling Ikea furniture. This I feel, was irony at it's best.
On a slightly related point, does anyone else think that
jorune might be in need of brainwashing, getting married, and settling in his nice house? :)I was vaguely concerned that I was overdoing it on 2 bookshelves, + a 3rd from a friend (thanks
gingerboy) but I've managed to fill them. It's so good to be seeing my books once more. I have now 'found' a huge stack of books, and thought 'ooh, would like to read that again.Oh and the garden, front and back, has been brutally butchered by judicious use of weedkiller, a strimmer and a lawnmower (Thanks to
paulw).Somehow I managed to 'use up' all my strimmer flex which is rather a lot. Mostly I think due to the horrific amounts of plasticy toys, bits of metal that used to be lager cans, and ... well over enthusiasm on my part...
